19:32
i know i am such a huge disappointment i haven't always been in the right state of mind and today i might be but i have nothing to do with it so
Category: 💬
19:14
that's the update, same as the past years now
19:10
a lot of what i write in my journal has to do with what goes on around me in the moment, most of it is not towards any one in particular... and only a few have to do with any of you...
18:59
you may think you have something of substance to say back in this message but you don't… i have sent individual messages to everyone at different points and i even called you sharing some things not too long ago so yes, it actually should make some sense. and dismissing my journal as nonsense like i am some loony that is out of it, it is me who doesn't know what to say back. i have shared plenty by now.
10:15
each day i make it very clear i am not about to start taking direction from anyone. it is you, not me… creating issues.
10:12
there are routine things in your daily lives i have not thought of in years… maybe not even at all,
09:42
what are charade s and what is this morning at martine’s for ___________
09:22
i have tuned out of many things and into something better, don’t tell me i don’t have enough status or whatever… because i just might laugh in your face, but probably not…
09:05
controlled opposition comes to mind again,
08:47
oh, is it because you are used to being the bad guys, so it is not a problem for you, having this image?
06:35
i have moved the blanket up and down before with my foot for satisfaction, as an exercise to break free from your hold.
06:25
i was only sniffing the unopened top of peppermint oil.
05:54
this is the second time i unhook two hooks holding the curtain on this side to make a point. why does nobody else complain, too used to it perhaps?
01:49
i’ve already lost a toolkit last year in their possession and they leave everything loose + open in mixed bins, many items not even marked with a name or bed number.
00:49
go on and be desperate, i am not there with you, no matter how hard you try.
21:20
what will it take to get my attention? you don’t deserve it.
19:13
what happens to my neck if i start shaking my head no a hundred times a day from now on?
19:07
did she really just pretend to say “hey, i need to talk to you”?
18:20
this month is the month of trying different instant coffee’s…
17:53
whose side am i on? nobody’s… my own.
13:15
it tastes so much better now, my pipe
11:56
if what i hear around me is true i will choose to ignore it!
11:36
https://nitsuji.net/ another year
11:00
i was seven months outside again for what reason? in *your* words, not mine –
10:57
what i write here may at best be just another way of coping, to some it doesn’t really matter,
10:44
i have learned to trust nobody, and for awhile now.
09:14
i will cope in the good ways i know how… what has stayed the same, and what has changed? you tell me, right?
09:12
i do not like the energy around here and i do not have to…
09:08
earplugs are always in through the entire night,,, i stay in my own bubble. ~
08:47
and just to be clear, i’m not interested.! thanks,. (x1,2,3, )
08:24
yes, it is the ukiah photo, and what a different time it was (or seemed)
08:07
i have been sitting in the old telephone chair at capp for some mornings now, this morning someone placed a stack of individually wrapped condoms in the chair so i looked for a spot to place them… back next to the container they came from at the front desk…
06:47
foul cries are so amusing today, keep them coming! ! ~
14:12
sleep, eat sleep, eat sleep, eat
09:28
and the people that have a problem with this shouldn’t be here… maybe, let me reflect on some things…
08:42
what is that noise? i do not associate with it…
20:37
i’m above and beyond taking orders from people who prey…
20:16
who is flaunting what here? check yourself good and well, you surely aren’t the folks in charge… no way.
20:11
too talkative today? my movements too… ~whatever~ ?
19:02
what’s wrong with my attitude? too confident for you, too comfortable? don’t expect me to bow for anyone, you will never have that here.
18:54
tonight they made me for the first time check in my smoking pipe, ?
13:37
but i bought cinnamon rolls instead, and today i will buy a different variety to compare the difference.
10:36
saturdays are always a cringe here at martine’s,
09:26
and you can be certain i will have another puff the moment i exit this door, here at el capp-o
09:16
a “health worker” says to a client, « you are a gold digger, you don’t stop, ~ »
09:00
how can i go on like this? because: You Do Not rule my life.
08:50
the world really is a lot darker than i once realized,
08:38
i say to myself, why is she still standing there?
08:08
scapegoating the less fortunate, it is wrong
08:07
i am stuck having to finish eating two more cinnamon buns that seem to contain no cinnamon….