Author: justin

08:48

at which point do i lose my patience? i wonder, it's been years now... (not towards any of you in particular, just in general)

08:45

a waste of time and money for me, in my opinion ~ suit yourself !

17:49

am out front here at the shelter thinking to myself in this moment while i wait to go inside, if it was a certain someone who walked through here, stopping for a moment, talking to a stranger that used to stay here, putting your hand out at me from a distance and shaking your head, as if you were going through some emotions… it couldn’t be, you can’t expect me to be certain nor expect me to walk up to you and say hi (like a fool) (i have been messed with too often)

09:10

taking advantage of this situation is wrong and i will not accept being told i cannot do anything about it. believe me, i will!

08:50

for a period of time, i was paranoid and extra careful about my every move.

03:24

do you know how good it feels to breathe? i opened both curtains. the rush of oxygen into the room, my body saying thank you… (update: @ 3:31, staff arrives, closed the curtains again)

15:16

these people make money off of my suffering, and this is how they behave , ?

10:07

what is the meaning of life when you reach this place i am now, i cannot answer that for you.

10:03

wondering if my words can be MiScOnTrUEd, some could say i am the one projecting today…

04:05

this morning a staff closed the curtain the moment i walked back inside, i stood there, took a picture of myself holding it open for a moment ~

08:12

yep, i smoked again and yep, y’all gone get over it ~ ! (no issues) ☕️ ~ ~ ~

07:21

i am not a bad guy and i am not going to put up with anyone treating me as such. i don’t need your company to survive or feel good (anymore) ~ ! (enjoying my own company, been this way for years now)

01:55

second time within a few nights i have awoken to find my eye covers (old shirt) off my face and around my neck, facing right (when i usually face left toward the wall) : |

22:38

the reason for handing someone a form in front of me at this hour in the dark is what?

21:24

plus having to hear several arguments and someone being escorted out

20:32

mMmMm, tea, coffee, chocolate & licorice before bed ~ (equals stomach ache)

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how else can i say the camera is not as good today, at least with this one and some previous one’s i have used over the past 3-4 years now…

15:56

i must be too relaxed today, i am supposed to have reached my limits somewhere, right? hmm…

15:45

was thinking to myself how some others smoke up here often, is it an offense coming from me?

15:34

smoked (had one puff) on the capp patio for the first (and only) time! anyway,

15:03

guess i should have saved the new bottle from yesterday because now i am one less, (actually it isn’t a problem anymore because i have a ceramic jar) but isn’t it polite to ask before taking? he even rinsed his face and drank out of it…

14:10

from my walk to and from martine’s, i am making a point about having to consume more 🌸 (several, actually) & have been thinking of a different time, a time when i had money & worked hard…

12:05

wow. it absolutely is nonsense in the world, ~ just not from me . !

11:20

anyway, off to martine’s, mayonaise in on pasta sounds good today.!

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last week it was okay, they even fit inside of one bin.

delaying progress further,

i pushed the door slowly several times and stood there for a moment while they locked the door in front of me before i walked away…

i called, and demanded, for a phone appointment. to some responses,

i made the point about having to come in two years ago just to sit in front of a phone…

i said over the phone, forward the message in capital letters, -he insists on it!-

update: cash assistance denied

08:28

all you do is "react" to messages instead of typing something, and where are the updates from your side

00:59

once again, i open the curtain just a few inches, quietly insisting out loud that it needs to remain so, at least that much… !

19:32

i know i am such a huge disappointment i haven't always been in the right state of mind and today i might be but i have nothing to do with it so

19:10

a lot of what i write in my journal has to do with what goes on around me in the moment, most of it is not towards any one in particular... and only a few have to do with any of you...

18:59

you may think you have something of substance to say back in this message but you don't… i have sent individual messages to everyone at different points and i even called you sharing some things not too long ago so yes, it actually should make some sense. and dismissing my journal as nonsense like i am some loony that is out of it, it is me who doesn't know what to say back. i have shared plenty by now.

10:15

each day i make it very clear i am not about to start taking direction from anyone. it is you, not me… creating issues.

10:12

there are routine things in your daily lives i have not thought of in years… maybe not even at all,

09:42

what are charade s and what is this morning at martine’s for ___________